Wake up determined, go to sleep satisfied.

I’m always setting unachievable goals, saying I’m going to do something and not doing it and procrastinating everything. It leaves me in a state of self-pity and feeling like I’m stupid.

This stops now.

I have a list of things I want to do, where I want to be in the future and all of it relies on my persistence to keep moving forward. And this isn’t going to work if I procrastinate and wait until the future. 

For example, this blog was something I was unsure of for a long time. And that was solely based on he reason that I was embarrassed. Embarrassed people at college would find out and lump me with the ever growing ne’er of aspirin bloggers. Now I’m writing this thinking, so what? In one years time I’ll be in uni, surrounded by completely different people and the only ones who matter will support my attempts to do the thing I love as a career, because they’re doing the same thing.

YouTube: another platform I want to be on, with the same exact problem, only I’m also incredibly shy and nervous. I also have no idea what my niche is. However, I’m fairly certain that people don’t just watch videos for the content, they also watch for the person on screen, the drive and passion behind it, so if people like me, they won’t mind my jumble of different interests and projects, as long as I truly am dedicated. 

And uni. Arts is a risky thing to pick as a career. Fashion is competitive and there is always someone better than you. Sure I could always go and take law like my mum suggested, or study business and work in retail, but what if I can make it? What if I can make the 13 year old me’s wildest dreams come true? And what if I miss out on it because of other people’s opinions?

I guess the summary of this blog post is, I’m sick of being worried about other people’s opinions which probably don’t exist, sick of worrying about the future and sick of not working hard enough

So this is the starting point where im going to change.

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2 comments

  1. Your lucky you’re realising all of this now!
    I stuck with my insecurities up until finishing uni and I now regret so many of the choices I made for not wanting to get embarrassed.
    Also as for art, I chose a solid science over following my passion and it’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made!
    Follow your dreams, do what you want and forget what anyone else thinks as long as you’re happy!

    The Everyday Life of Rachel

    Like

    • Well, I’m hoping that I’ll stick to this post and not just forget about it like I usually do. I actually managed to upload a YouTube video, although I don’t speak in it (not that confident yet!) Science is awesome, and more secure than an art degree which so many people have told me. I don’t think I can imagine myself doing anything at uni apart from fashion, although I have considered Lit as an option. Are you working in the science field now? Thank you for commenting, it means a lot that someone read one of my…less thought through and more personal posts 🙂

      Like

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